>> .ALL I LEAVE BEHIND poems for the maudlin and moribund, copyright © 2003 by rosendo m makabali. All I leave behind is true Saying so makes good excuse To not care or appear so Whether or not I'm found false Saying so gives me license This is no fog upon me But smoke blown from the city's Garbage dump, it finds me like Anything else ejected Man, I'm full of it I know You know my name, bitter as Cigarettes and alcohol I scrounge I steal I'm a king Worthy of cheap confessions Tired anti-hero stylings There's no heart inside of me (Comets are sucked into it Stripped of God and paradise) Maybe bruises in shades of All I left behind that's true All I leave behind is true Forsake me, I might sneak back What I've got left is biography: Movie clip, playlist, scrapbook Of you and me, him and you I never was one for song You are still a world of joy I wax catastrophic: Letter bomb, dirty finger It gets sticky just dreaming of you Where's my match made in heaven? I pray for one to do me good Pick me up from pestilence (Bad blood, bad brew, bad burn) Bear me none the worse for wear I press on because she's there Downtown or in another country Wherever it is God cools His heels: Paradise, park bench, bar stool All I leave behind is you All I leave behind is void Because I'm still alive I Resolve to move on, be moved Removed-motion requires me To accomplish emptiness There's a host in me scrambling To club the head of the pack The ganging picks up until There's supposed to be none of Me left to spawn a species I may take my sweet time, to Smell roses, caress creatures The weather's fine - until I Belch the stench of elements Overdrawn from cup and bed Such a perfect idea Is Eden, the serpent in It even scores a purpose While I'm one misplaced by God All I reap later is weed All I leave behind is locked No key beneath potted plant Just this ticket, as heavy As the gate that autoshuts, So I drop it just as well Nothing I carry will last Through wherever I may get By some map that doesn't tell Where any place begins, just Dots to this-isn't-there-yet I ply a random course, curse Out in the open, crossing Cruising along lines of sky Coast and border --- brothering Insect, rodent, reptile, bird I steer clear of God perched in His desert, beckoning for Communion or to found a Civilization --- the last Thing I need is my road blocked All I leave behind blanks out This candle belonged there once One black wick to consort with What of the past, what of now Remains: names, faces, manners When I want it lighted, I Want shadows to take over Where a touch left off touching Who wore a smile and for whom What has grown larger than life When I want it lighted, I Want it all aglow upon My book (except for parts where I've been faking the words) from Cradlesong to eulogy But what to do, baby, when Darkness at both ends caves in I haven't a prayer to crack What God forbids or maybe Hides in all I leave behind .poems for the maudlin and moribund, copyright © 2003 by rosendo m makabali ALL I LEAVE BEHIND. >>